Tired and achy and any glimmer of a pregnancy glow has long fizzled out!
When I picked my three year old up from nursery today she asked me if the baby was here. “Has he not come out yet”? How cute is that? We’ve got in early with the sibling prep and have been trying to keep her up to speed as much as possible. Of course she has no real concept of time but we like to keep reminding her that her baby brother is on the way and will be here soon. We’re also pre-warning her that he might cry a lot but that it’s ok and he may just be a bit hungry or sleepy.
In other news, the heartburn has made a comeback. But that’s not what’s keeping me awake at night. Trying to get my now bulbous body into a position of comfort is nigh impossible. The piles are a persistent and constant irritation and quite frankly a pain in the ‘ar-ha’. And my active mind can’t help but nip into overdrive at around 3am each morning. It’s no wonder I’m feeling so frazzled.
As I lay there in the dark, my legs wound round my pregnancy pillow, I can’t seem to stave off this lingering anxiety. We’re getting closer to the finishing line now and even though I’ve done it all before, twice, I’m scared, I’m nervous. I’m all too aware that after everything that I’ve been through in this pregnancy so far, there is still one massive hurdle to get over. Sometimes it helps to have an idea of what is coming. At other times… Arhh… I know what is coming. Or is it the unknown that I’m afraid of? I can be a bit of a control freak. Maybe the thought of having no steer on what’s happening is what worries me the most. I lay there in my insomnious state, my eyes shut tight, trying to trick myself into slumber. Maybe it’s nature’s way of preparing my body clock for all those late night feeds again?
If I’m sounding a bit negative here, I apologise. I’m tired and achy and any glimmer of a pregnancy glow has long fizzled out. And, hello! Extra kudos here please for keeping two small people alive whilst all this is happening. Right now I could do with putting my feet up and having a bit of a pamper sesh but there’s not much opportunity for that when you have two mini tornados tearing around the house. What we need is a babymoon! I’m half joking when I suggest this to David but he agrees that it’s a great idea and arranges to drop the girls off at his mum’s whilst we check-in to a boutique hotel nearby for the night. The quietness of our hotel room feels strange and it’s not long before I’ve crawled into bed. We have a table booked for dinner nearby but it takes every bit of energy to tear myself from that bed to get ready to go out.