So here we are, at the half way mark.
Dare I say it, it seems to be flying by. I don’t know whether it’s because I am feeling more relaxed this time around or because I’m in a bit of denial about the whole thing. When I stop and factor in that we are actually going to have another baby in around 5 months time – nope, I can’t fully get my head around it. Actually, how will I manage day-to-day with 3 children under the age of 4? This has started to come to mind a bit more lately. The girls are so full of energy, playing, running around, fighting over toys, and demanding my full attention, whilst I am feeling so knackered and so sick. Bringing a new baby into the mix feels like a tall challenge right now.
Luckily our scan appointment is just before our holiday. I’m so glad as I think I’d feel a tiny bit anxious about going away and not knowing that everything was alright beforehand. And obviously, I can’t wait a minute longer to find out whether we are having a boy or a girl. We honestly feel like we would be happy either way. But we only know girls. It will feel strange to be having a boy. It has fallen on a day when our youngest is not at nursery. Not ideal but we have to take her to the hospital with us. We pack a couple of books and toys to attempt distraction whilst I am having the scan, but no sooner than we have started, she slides off of David’s lap and makes her bid for freedom across the room. The sonographer explains that she cannot run around in the room and that David will have to take her out if he isn’t holding her. I want him here. I’d hate for him to miss this. Thankfully his second attempt to amuse her takes hold and we can begin. I take comfort in the sonographer’s upbeat voice as she interprets everything we can see on the screen. She had already asked us if we would like to know the sex. And then, without any hesitation she announces that it’s a boy. “Oh yeah, I can see it now”, I say, my eyes fixated on the screen. Wow, a boy! I turn to David and we both smile as we joke about how his big sisters will run rings around him. I feel like he finally has an identity. Not a name yet, sure, but I can stop calling him ‘It’.
Packing for holiday is not going well. We are only heading to Cornwall for a couple of weeks but toddlers require a lot of ‘stuff’. They need clothes, nappies, toiletries, a potty, cups, cutlery, books, toys, favourite DVDs, oh my goodness, the list seems endless. I lay out our suitcases on the floor but it takes me 3 days to fill them as my tiredness keeps getting the better of me. I’m definitely going to forget a few things. There is no way that we are leaving this house with everything we will need. Just not going to happen!
I’m definitely feeling the flutter of baby’s movements now. I couldn’t be sure to start with. It’s such a nice feeling. I find myself smiling and placing one hand on my belly whenever I feel those little jolts from within.
I really couldn’t be happier right now and keep having this overriding urge to shriek with excitement. But let me just say, this is no linear journey – it has it’s downs as well as it’s ups. There are a few things still counter balancing my hormonal urges to shriek with excitement – like various cooking smells. Urgh! My youngest keeps demanding fish pie for dinner.