May 22, 2022

Time To Stop Comparing, There are No Winners

Georgia Drew

By For You Mummas

I’m Georgia, a first time Mum to 11 month old Ella. Originally my blog writing started as something to feel productive and to keep me from sitting in my comfy’s on the sofa whenever my little one was having a nap. It’s now transformed into creating my own site foryoumummas and instagram page in the hope to help other mums with tips and hacks that I’ve learnt along the way through my own pregnancy and motherhood experiences. 

Comparing Everything

We live in a world now where we compare everything, a huge list of things from the way we look, to how big our house is, to what car we drive. Motherhood is no exception to that list either it seems, I think we’re all guilty of it at some point, I know I was. When it comes to motherhood, everyone wants to give their advice as soon as you announce you’re pregnant. You’ll hear a lot of mothers tell you what they did when they had their baby, especially if they’re family or close friends of yours.

Everyone has an opinion on what you should do whilst your pregnant, name suggestions for your baby, if you’re going to find out the sex, what colour your nursery is, what type of car seat you have, if your pram is high spec enough, the list goes on. So as soon as you have your baby it’s natural for you to compare everything you do with other mothers.

Georgia - For You Mummas

The Biggest Taboos

I think sleeping and milestones have to be the biggest taboo subject when it comes to mummy chat. All I seem to do with my fellow mum friends is talk about how our babies slept the night before, how long they slept for, and if they go down in their cot awake. However, this conversation can touch a nerve with so many parents and can become so competitive or very deflating depending on your situation.

It can make you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re struggling with something like sleep, even if you’re doing the exact same things other mums are doing with their babies who do sleep through. It always feels like a comparison to someone else, their baby is sleeping great, why am I struggling?

Developing At Different Rates

The same goes when it comes to your baby’s developments, we all know babies learn and grow at different rates so why do we still stress over the fact that another baby might have learnt to crawl or has taken to weaning really well. You really can’t compare these things but we all do it, it’s so tempting to ask your friends questions like “when did your baby start crawling?” or “when did your baby drop their night feed and start sleeping through?”

If the answer is earlier than your baby took, you start to worry and become anxious about your baby’s developments if you feel they aren’t doing what they should be at that exact time.

Young child in garden

Guilty Googling

This is something I struggled with once Ella turned 6 months, I have a few friends with babies all around the same age as Ella. They were all either walking or crawling whilst Ella showed no signs of wanting to move, so I did what I imagine every mum does and googled silly things like “why is my baby not crawling yet?” or “what can I do to encourage baby movement?” Well, I can say crawling never happened, Ella is now 12 months and skipped crawling altogether and went straight to standing and walking.

There are so many things I compared Ella to with other babies and it’s taken nearly a year to realise a few key things:

  1. If another baby has reached a milestone before yours, great, be happy
    for them and remember your baby will develop at their own rate.
  2. Don’t wish away any time whilst your baby is young and needs you the most, they grow up so fast that you’ll miss them falling asleep on you sooner than you think.
  3. Motherhood shouldn’t be a competition, it puts unnecessary pressure
    on yourself at a time when you should feel most supported. Celebrate every little thing your baby does and don’t let anyone tell you what you should be doing unless you ask for their opinion. Everything will come in time, you know your baby better than anyone, so you do you mummas!
Advice Parenting
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